Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis Review

Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis
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I really don't know how to put in words what I just saw. But I definitely will try!
One day I did a search on `Zombies' on Amazon. And this funny lookin movie pops up. It's called "Sars Wars" so yeah, I HAD to look at it. It's got zombies on the front and Asian dudes with lightsabres and a girl with an axe. I immediately added it to my wish list and about a month later, I just couldn't take it anymore and I had to buy it.
Now I'm no fool. I usually can tell if it's going to be a bad low budget movie or not before I even put it in the player, and I definitely thought this was going to be one, but I HAD to see it. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad at all. I actually laughed pretty hard at some scenes. The production value wasn't to bad either. Film quality wasn't that great, but not that bad either. You can tell it was filmed on a closed set. And the CG that was used was pretty bad, but not the worst I've seen. That's about it for the badness of this movie.
Now onto the good. The story is about a girl of some wealthy man being kidnapped and being held for ransom. If the bad guys don't get their money they are going to rape her with a cucumber dipped in raspberry sauce. Not only that, but the Sars virus has landed on Thailand, the only place that has been free of the virus. And this is Sars version 4. I'm not sure if you've heard of this one yet on CNN, but this is the version that turns humans into evil vampiric looking zombies. They didn't waste money on the zombie makeup, that's for sure. They looked REALLY good (even though they looked a lot like the vampires you'd see in Buffy or Angel). Have I caught your attention at all? Probably not. How about this then. When the kidnappers come to get the girl, they use a hot girl to distract the car carrying her. Then a guy in a big anime lookin bear suit walks out in front of the car. Car hits bear suit guy. Driver gets out and says, `OH NO I HIT A DOG!' (which I immediately started laughing cause he was serious...lol), and then the other guys says , "NO MAN YOU HIT A BEAR!", (lmao). Then a friggin ninja jumps out from a bush and does a pose where the sun is beaming off his sword and then all bad choreographed heck breaks lose. Still haven't gotten your attention? How about a guy trying to kill a bunch of zombies, and then does a John Woo/Chow Yun Fat jump (one of those sideways jumps) and blazing his guns, to only fall into the arms of about 10 zombies. Then he starts to get eaten and his boss tells him to try and only get eaten halfway so he can have sometime to escape! No not yet? How about a sex scene where the guy says he'll give her certain positions like the (I laughed hard at this) "Eat Rice Noodle" (or something like that). She giggles and says "OOOOOOO" as he flys in the air towards her. Noodles are flying everywhere while he's going down on her. Then he stands up and still has a noodle on his chest. I could not believe what I was seeing. It was to dang funny. There were way to many scenes that were funnier than they should've been I think. And one last thing, the gore was GREAT. Sometimes over the top, but it was meant to be.
Now not ALL the scenes are funny. Some are just to out there, and I wonder if it's just me being American that I didn't find all the stuff funny. But I honestly liked this film a lot for what it was. The movie DOES get somewhat bad in some parts, so please make sure you know that before you watch this.
Also there is no nudity because I'm guessing Thai censorship doesn't allow it. I found this out in the movie because they actually make a joke about it.
One other thing I have to say is you HAVE to watch the special features. One of the trailers, Dragon 20000 volts, or something like that, seemed cool. I need to find out more about this movie because it looked interesting. It's black and white, but if felt like a 'Sin City' black and white and it deals with humans and dragons being intertwined and their power being released when you are zapped with electricity. Looked cool. Also make sure you take a glimpse at the music videos. I seriously shook my head and started laughing cause they were so bad they were good (ok maybe not good... lol)
But the best thing about the special features was the Discotek (however you spell it) preview reel. The first minute or so was like a sleazy exploitation film with a naked Asian chick (yes you see a good amount of boobage) shooting people and all kinds of other stuff, while this sweet techno Disco Tech song was being played. And then they kept showing all kinds of other movies and anime. It was all mixed together like some dude just threw a bunch of clips together and he didn't care if they were good or bad or if they really showed you what the movie was about. It was BRILLIANT! I seriously want to see just about every film on that promo reel.
In the end I would say I had a good time with this movie and I was sober and watching it alone. I bet this movie would be an instant classic if you had some friends over and had a few (or a lot) of beers in ya.


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