Straight to Hell (1987) Review

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(More customer reviews)Alex Cox's "Straight To Hell" is such a strange and unique pop film that I'm not quite sure how to go about reviewing it. Perhaps if I can break down the elements. The film is based round the time of its release and deliberately has all the cliches of the typical 1960s Italian "Spaghetti" Western; the mood, humour, and style is like that of Jim Jarmusch (who plays "Mr. Dade" in the film), David Lynch, and the Coen Brothers; and the cast is a wonderfully entertaining group of New Wave/Punk Icons and edgy, idiosyncratic character actors; the plot: 3 Hitmen and a pregnant girlfriend oversleep and miss their scheduled "hit" and deside to rob a bank to make up for the loss of money, which leads them to hide out and bury the money; the setting: a virtual "Ghost Town" in Spain--I say virtual, but there are a few occupants: a Spanish tavern keeper, hardware/general store owners consisting of a sexy Latin lady and her war-crazed, half-a-man husband, a Priest and Coffin maker, a mobile butler who consitently serves coffee, a flamboyant singer (ala Liberace), a singer/songwriter who sells hot dogs, the gun-slinging, violent, and caffeine-addicted Mac Mahon Gang, and a few crazed others. Acknowledging the cast during the film is quite fun in itself, from Joe Strummer, Sy Richardson, Dick Rude, Elvis Costello, The Pogues (all of 'em!), Courtney Love, Jim Jarmusch, Dennis Hopper, Xander R. Berkeley, and Grace Jones to others who you'll probably see in a Jim Jarmusch film or in Alex Cox's Sid & Nancy. The soundtrack is a pseudo-Western and Latin mixture of Pogues, Pray For Rain, and Joe Strummer, which works excellently in the film, as well as outside it.
Cult stars, guns, black humour, violence, coffee, and a surreal Italian Western setting is what's in store when you go "Straight To Hell". Hilarious!

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Oh My Zombie Mermaid (2004) Review

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(More customer reviews)With all the countless great cult, horror, demented and hyper-violent flicks coming out of Asia over the last decade, you see a title like 'Oh! My Zombie Mermaid' and think to yourself, "sign me up", right? Oh! My Zombie Mermaid-loving friends, how wrong we can be...
There's no horror, no camp, no dementia, no zombies, there's not really a mermaid either, what we've been suckered into here is a wrestling movie!!! WTF! I kid you not!
Here's the down-lo on this woefully misrepresented time-killer : Shishio (real life New Japan Pro-Wrestler) is having a house-warming party at his new digs when violence erupts thanks to a rival who crashes the fest and the mansion ends up in shambles. His wife Asami is injured in the melee and seeks medical treatment that is slowly turning her into a zombie mermaid (hint: you need to be dead to qualify as a zombie last time I looked, though the literature on such things is rather vague). Shishio needs to rebuild his palace and save his wife, so his manager suggests staging a death match between Shishio and all of his rivals on pay-per-view TV. Logical, right?
The rest of the flick is the wrestling match, where we find out his manager has double-crossed him on several levels and was behind infecting his wife - my apologies for the spoilers, but I'm riding with the assumption you weren't going to put yourself through this like I did...
Was it terrible? No. If you knew what you were sitting down to before you developed expectations based on the title, cover and details, you might actually enjoy this one; it's a decent family flick, believe it or not. But my universe is a drastically different one from most of you, so I was pissed...it's like a combination of 'Splash' and the WWF.
Oh, yeah, someone can tell the previous reviewer that he can come out from under the bed now, his fear of mermaids is unwarranted in this case...


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Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis Review

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(More customer reviews)I really don't know how to put in words what I just saw. But I definitely will try!
One day I did a search on `Zombies' on Amazon. And this funny lookin movie pops up. It's called "Sars Wars" so yeah, I HAD to look at it. It's got zombies on the front and Asian dudes with lightsabres and a girl with an axe. I immediately added it to my wish list and about a month later, I just couldn't take it anymore and I had to buy it.
Now I'm no fool. I usually can tell if it's going to be a bad low budget movie or not before I even put it in the player, and I definitely thought this was going to be one, but I HAD to see it. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad at all. I actually laughed pretty hard at some scenes. The production value wasn't to bad either. Film quality wasn't that great, but not that bad either. You can tell it was filmed on a closed set. And the CG that was used was pretty bad, but not the worst I've seen. That's about it for the badness of this movie.
Now onto the good. The story is about a girl of some wealthy man being kidnapped and being held for ransom. If the bad guys don't get their money they are going to rape her with a cucumber dipped in raspberry sauce. Not only that, but the Sars virus has landed on Thailand, the only place that has been free of the virus. And this is Sars version 4. I'm not sure if you've heard of this one yet on CNN, but this is the version that turns humans into evil vampiric looking zombies. They didn't waste money on the zombie makeup, that's for sure. They looked REALLY good (even though they looked a lot like the vampires you'd see in Buffy or Angel). Have I caught your attention at all? Probably not. How about this then. When the kidnappers come to get the girl, they use a hot girl to distract the car carrying her. Then a guy in a big anime lookin bear suit walks out in front of the car. Car hits bear suit guy. Driver gets out and says, `OH NO I HIT A DOG!' (which I immediately started laughing cause he was serious...lol), and then the other guys says , "NO MAN YOU HIT A BEAR!", (lmao). Then a friggin ninja jumps out from a bush and does a pose where the sun is beaming off his sword and then all bad choreographed heck breaks lose. Still haven't gotten your attention? How about a guy trying to kill a bunch of zombies, and then does a John Woo/Chow Yun Fat jump (one of those sideways jumps) and blazing his guns, to only fall into the arms of about 10 zombies. Then he starts to get eaten and his boss tells him to try and only get eaten halfway so he can have sometime to escape! No not yet? How about a sex scene where the guy says he'll give her certain positions like the (I laughed hard at this) "Eat Rice Noodle" (or something like that). She giggles and says "OOOOOOO" as he flys in the air towards her. Noodles are flying everywhere while he's going down on her. Then he stands up and still has a noodle on his chest. I could not believe what I was seeing. It was to dang funny. There were way to many scenes that were funnier than they should've been I think. And one last thing, the gore was GREAT. Sometimes over the top, but it was meant to be.
Now not ALL the scenes are funny. Some are just to out there, and I wonder if it's just me being American that I didn't find all the stuff funny. But I honestly liked this film a lot for what it was. The movie DOES get somewhat bad in some parts, so please make sure you know that before you watch this.
Also there is no nudity because I'm guessing Thai censorship doesn't allow it. I found this out in the movie because they actually make a joke about it.
One other thing I have to say is you HAVE to watch the special features. One of the trailers, Dragon 20000 volts, or something like that, seemed cool. I need to find out more about this movie because it looked interesting. It's black and white, but if felt like a 'Sin City' black and white and it deals with humans and dragons being intertwined and their power being released when you are zapped with electricity. Looked cool. Also make sure you take a glimpse at the music videos. I seriously shook my head and started laughing cause they were so bad they were good (ok maybe not good... lol)
But the best thing about the special features was the Discotek (however you spell it) preview reel. The first minute or so was like a sleazy exploitation film with a naked Asian chick (yes you see a good amount of boobage) shooting people and all kinds of other stuff, while this sweet techno Disco Tech song was being played. And then they kept showing all kinds of other movies and anime. It was all mixed together like some dude just threw a bunch of clips together and he didn't care if they were good or bad or if they really showed you what the movie was about. It was BRILLIANT! I seriously want to see just about every film on that promo reel.
In the end I would say I had a good time with this movie and I was sober and watching it alone. I bet this movie would be an instant classic if you had some friends over and had a few (or a lot) of beers in ya.


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Resident Evil 4 Review

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(More customer reviews)Wow was I amazed! Try it, even if you do have the gamecube version. To me, this is worth the money and time.
Leon S. Kennedy is back and it's been six years later. The president ordered him to rescue the president's daughter from a religious group. This is most likely a survival horror game mixed with action and stategy.
The graphics on the PS2 is a little different. The texture isn't as good and it looks more darker. Still it's pretty good compared to the gamecube version.
The controls is excellent. It may be a little hard to get use to especially if you played the gamecube version. It gives you behind the shoulder look of Leon so you know where to shoot better than the other RE games. The laser device is nice as well because you can shoot at different parts of the body. You can also use knife attacks and kick your enemies as well. Make sure you find the weak spot!
You can't even relax during the cutscenes! You might have to either dodge, sprint, or somehow get out of trouble. Besides killing all of these ganados (Spanish villagers), you have to protect Ashley from getting killed or captured. If so, game over. You can also buy weapons and other items from a mysterious merchant and can upgrade as well. Too bad there is no weapon swap. The ganados have different ways to attack either with a scythe, dynamite, axe, or choke you to death! There is even chainsaw ganados! Many more enemies are introduced later on in the game. The bosses also are challenging and better than ever! There are some puzzles introduced to advance the plot. There are no typewriter ribbons. There is probably more things to point out but we need to talk about the extras!
Extras in the game such as Separate Ways. Which you play as Ada Wong and you play the same time and same place as Leon. There is no switching to characters but that's ok. There are more cutscenes and few more hours for you to enjoy. The new grapple gun is introduced which is a nice feature. It helps you get around to out of reach places as well. New weapons are here such as a laser gun which can kill enemies pretty easily and can stun them. The costumes are useful and pretty cool to say so myself. Leon looks like a detective and looks mysterious like. Ashley has a suit of armor which is a good thing. It can protect herself from gunshots or get killed in any other way. These extras can be obtained if you beat the game once. Extras from the gamecube version are also on here. The Mercenaries where you have to kill enemies to score points and unlock characters. You can even get an unlockable weapon. The Handcannon in the main game! There is also Assignment Ada where you play as Ada Wong collecting five plaga samples and mostly avoid enemies instead of shooting them. Heavy item managment is a must. There is no knife attacks so use guns! More costumes, unlockable weapons, professional mode where enemies are challenging than normal mode. Another round where you have all of your possesions from the previous file. Last but not least, a movie browser where you can view cutscenes from the game and Seperate Ways.
Overall, it's a great game. Especially for the PS2. Play it, even if you have the gamecube version. Since there is more features into this. Great job to Masachika Kawata and the others. If you don't have the gamecube version, here is your chance! I played the game through about 20-25 hours including the extras.
Elizabeth


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In Resident Evil 4 you'll know a new type of horror, as the classic survival-horror action returns with all-new characters, controls and storylines. We last saw Leon S. Kennedy in Resident Evil 2 - a rookie cop in Raccoon City, fighting to stay alive. That was six years ago. Since then, government forces have managed to control the zombie threat and Leon has become a Federal agent. When the President's daughter is kidnapped, Leon tracks her to a remote, hidden fortress in Europe - where he'll relive the horror he faced six years before. Players will face never-before-seen enemies that make Nemesis seem like a kitten. You'll be wishing for the usual Resident Evil zombies!

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